Suddenly several of the Devil’s top military advisors appeared around him with urgent and frightening news.
“Why are you bothering me during my well-deserved rest? What is the matter?” asked the annoyed Devil of his highly decorated henchmen.
“Our intelligence agency has learned that the Lord is preparing to return to the citizens of earth and finish business,” said one of the Devil’s five-star generals.
“This looks like the final big battle that we’ve all been dreading,” said another of the Devil’s top brass.
The Devil sprang up from his recliner and, throwing his suntan lotion at one of the generals, angrily asked, “What is God’s strategy this time?”
“The Lord God is going to reveal the deeper mysteries of faith so that the human race will be better armed to fight off our evil influences,” said the nervous five-star general with suntan lotion dripping from his grotesque face. “Our magicians have looked into the future and prophesied that these holy mysteries will be revealed from the writings of a specially-prepared being on the planet earth named Emanuel Swedenborg.”
“Ouick! Let us all move to our war room,” said the devil.” And bring with you the latest images of the human brain.”
They all moved to a special cavern, which although quite stinky, was equipped with the most modern multi-media technology in the universe.
The five-star general pushed a computer key and a holographic image of the human brain appeared before them. “This is an example of the human brain before the ‘Fall’ in the Garden of Eden. As you can see it contained a more pronounced cerebellum which was capable of perceiving God’s influence directly from heaven.”
A big smile grew across the Devil’s face. “Yeah, that is when I discovered the flaw in this original mental architecture. The human brain was first designed so that its cognitive or intellectual function was always in complete agreement with the human heart and will. Because of this, I realized if I could influence the human heart towards egoism and against God, the human intellect would also get dragged down with it.”
The second general then pushed another computer key and a different type of human brain appeared next to the first one. And spoke “This more modern design is how God countered our most cunning and evil maneuver. You can see that in this new model of the brain God enlarged the frontal lobes of cerebrum and redirected many nerves so that this part of the brain could operate independently from the cerebellum. This divine adaptation allowed the human race to raise their understanding above their worldly desires so that they could adopt nobler principles into their lives. God also instilled a new holy function in the human psyche called conscience.”
The Devil addressed his general again, saying, “The Lord God came into the world so that conscience could be more activated within the lives of humans. Since God took on a finite human body and brain, it provided us with a physical medium by which we could challenge and attack His goodness through worldly temptations just like everyone else. I was sure that Jesus would succumb to His human nature and would get off the cross to show his power and anger at his tormentors. But God stayed on that damn cross and showed that he had the power to transform His human nature for dominance and revenge and be in perfect harmony with His Divine heavenly nature of Infinite Love and Wisdom. This is where I suffered my worst defeat.”
Another of the Devil’s five-star generals addressed the assembly and continued. “Even though God put us in our places when he was in the world, we soon realized that the human race, which was now hard-wired to see and judge reality only from sensory perception. would continue to miss the deeper levels of meaning within God’s message and stories of the Holy Scripture. We ascertained that the human race was still inclined to create false religious doctrines from their inferior cognitive abilities and literal interpretations of God’s holy narratives”
The general then turned to his Evil-in-Chief, stating, “We all know the Lord’s return, called the Second Coming, is not a physical event, but will involve teaching the human race about deeper spiritual revelations, which offer more detailed instruction about the highly important process of eternal salvation.” With fear in his eyes the general asks his dark ruler, “How can we nip this in the bud and stop this new dispensation from happening?”
The Devil, now with a really worried expression on his face, asked that the image of the more modern brain be enlarged so that he could get a better view of the workings and physiology of the neurons. When this was done the Devil turned to his chief scientific advisor and asked. “If this modern brain design is wired chiefly for sensory inputs, could we modify its functioning so that it would operate independently, whereby information gathered from the outside world would become segregated and cut off from conscience?”
The Devil’s head scientific advisor raised his eyebrows and became excited. “Why yes! If the influence of the physical world was powerful enough whereby superficial and artificial knowledge gained a life of its own through habit, it would disconnect the neuron’s outer functioning from its deeper functioning. This would allow an artificial consciousness to cover over one’s real consciousness and bury the impulse of spiritual conscience implanted by God.”
“I love it!” exclaimed the Devil. “If God split the human psyche, we’ll just split it further! That way, we could reduce the God-inspired feelings and thoughts of conscience into a small and pitiful remaining sediment, locked up in a deeper part of the human psyche. The fools on earth, through their culture and education, will become quite accustomed to the status quo and start believing that their artificial consciousness is their true consciousness! Therefore, when the Lord God decides to return and finally reveals to humankind new divine knowledge it will be absorbed by the artificial consciousness and people will simply imagine they are being transformed. How wonderfully treacherous that would be! Besides, no one will be brave enough look at any information that would contradict his or her self-delusions. Instead of rooting out their personal flaws and changing from within, people on earth will always dodge their responsibility, and instead, always ‘hope’ and ‘pray’ to God that things be different.”
His Evil Majesty then ordered the generals to make sure that all the inhabitants of hell concentrate their influence on splitting the human psyche so that people would take their eye off the ball and forget their cosmic responsibility. He knew that sincere self-criticism would be too hard to bear for most individuals and therefore keep spiritual conscience safely buried where it would be prevented from taking hold.
The Devil began to contemplate how this would change the strategy of his ongoing battle against God and His heavenly angels. “Ah-h-h, it no longer is even a question of good vs. evil,” remarked the cunning Devil. “With a split in the human psyche, it becomes a question of trance and illusion.”
He and all his evil crew threw themselves to the ground, fully enjoying their intense belly laugh.