Jesus lowers the boom

Jesus had just finished a parable on the topic of His triumphant return and the salvation of the human race when a close disciple approached him with a burning question.

“Lord,” asked the disciple, “I am still confused about your return. You said this great event is going to happen in our generation, that it will not be observed or be something we can point to, also that it is something we cannot now bear. Could you clarify these things for us? What is it about your return that we will not see with our very own eyes? Surely we will be able to notice the profound change you will bring to our world by defeating our oppressors during the end times?”

Jesus replied, “Trust me. You still cannot bear to hear these things.”

“What is it that we cannot bear,” enquired the disciple? “Please, please tell us!”

Jesus shook His head “no” but the disciple kept pressing the issue.

“Okay, okay, I’ll tell you now but you are not going to like what you hear,” warned the Lord.

The rest of the disciples quickly gathered around their teacher to hear His important answer to this great mystery.

Jesus looked them straight in the eyes and said, “Peter, get behind me, you Satan. And, the rest of you are all jackasses!”

Hearing this unexpected response from their beloved teacher, the disciples all fell into a sudden swoon and fainted on the spot.

While they lay on the ground, unconscious, they all miraculously experienced the same dream about the Lord coming in the clouds and engaging the Great Red Dragon and the forces of evil in a final battle called Armageddon. However, the intense and violent images of this cosmic conflict unfolded in a way that revealed to them that these frightening events actually symbolized a battleground that takes place within their own spirit. The disciples now clearly perceived that horrible inner evils and forms of false thinking go unnoticed in their own lives and the lives of most individuals on earth. These hidden blemishes where the true oppressors of spiritual liberty and happiness that the Lord God wanted to challenge and defeat within everyone’s personal lives!

As each disciple regained consciousness, they were humbled by this unflattering revelation that the Lord’s “return” would consist of liberating people from their own personal flaws—not kick the butts of those that the discontented and disenfranchised identified as their oppressors and enemies on the worldly stage. The disciples now understood why this cosmic event could not be visually observed. It was an inner transformation—one that could take place within anyone’s generation!

Feeling ashamed, John, the disciple Jesus most loved, stepped closer and said, “I think I need a hug.”

“Not until you show me you are fully willing to self-examine your own dark side and commit to working together with me to remove the ignoble traits lurking deep within your heart,” replied the Lord. “ ‘That is the secret of My Second Coming. That is why further details are so difficult to bear. ‘Cleaning the inside of the cup’ are words meant for everyone’s ears.”

Jesus looked at His disciples with a most serious, yet caring expression. “Remember, God is the only source of Good and Truth in the universe. Humans who attribute goodness to themselves, on any level, are thieves and steal that which is rightfully the property of the Divine. But since you, my disciples, are getting special treatment, you should be more open and appreciative of being called jackasses. My purpose is to prepare you all for a heavenly kingdom so that you can become more than mere jackasses. True freedom, innocence and justice moves inward—to the very depths of your souls.”

About thegodguy

EDWARD F. SYLVIA, M.T.S. Philosopher/Theologian Edward F. Sylvia attended the School of Visual Arts in New York and received his Master of Theological Studies at the Pacific School of Religion in Berkeley, CA and a Certificate of Swedenborgian Studies from the Swedenborgian House of Studies. He is a member of the Center for Theology and the Natural Sciences (C.T.N.S.) and the Swedenborg Scientific Association (S.S.A.). Award-winning author of "Sermon From the Compost Pile: Seven Steps Toward Creating An Inner Garden" and "Proving God," which fulfills a continuing vision that God’s fingerprints of love can be found everywhere in the manifest universe. His most recent book, "Swedenborg & Gurdjieff: The Missing Links" is an edgy collection of anti-intuitive essays for personal transformation that challenges and inspires. He has been a student of the ideas of both Emanuel Swedenborg and George I. Gurdjieff for over thirty years. Read more about TheGodGuy, his books and his ideas at
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4 Responses to Jesus lowers the boom

  1. Steve Tanner says:

    I’d love to leave a comment, but I think Jesus said it all! 😉

    • thegodguy says:

      Dear Steve,

      Thanks for having the courage to respond, especially in a positive way. Most people are offended by such portrayals of theological concepts. 🙂

      Spiritually yours,

  2. teresa2paradise says:

    Thank you. I really enjoyed this. Saw the link on Steve Tanner’s blog. Made me smile. Also, went to Amazon to order the book Proving God. Teresa at WalkingWithYahshua Blog.

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