Steve gets an angelic lesson about sperm

The Sunday service at church was finishing up and the congregation migrated to an area where tables were set up for the members to enjoy a potluck lunch and what was called their “fellowship” hour.

A member of the church, Steve, found a chair and sat at a table with his paper plate of food. Everyone was happily engaged in conversation. Steve half consciously observed that none of the conversation was particularly spiritual. Rather, people discussed their worldly concerns and personal updates.

An elderly woman sitting next to Steve was determined to show him the newest pictures of her grandchildren.

As Steve tried to be cordial and considerate to the woman he felt a tap on his shoulder from his other side. Thinking that it was another member of his church he turned to smile but was surprised to see a glowing angelic being sitting in the chair next to him!

“Don’t worry,” said the beautiful angel. “You are the only one who can see me.”

“Why have you chosen to sit next to me?” asked the alarmed Steve.

“I have been sent here by the Lord God to offer you additional and special information about your minister’s sermon today on the topic of ‘remains.’”

“I have always felt that the important topic of one’s remains was rarely or deeply discussed,” replied Steve, as if he knew that the angel was reading his mind.

“As your church teaches, God plants sacred positive feelings and thoughts early in a child’s mind so that heavenly influences can have a place to be stored up for future spiritual growth. Without this divine gift people would lose their ability to think rationally or act humanely,” said the glowing angel with a stern look on her face. “Your remains act as a matrix for your spiritual re-birth. But before that, your remains are merely an ovum without sperm.”

Steve’s face turned a shade of red when he heard the angel speak this way. “I don’t understand what you are saying?” said the startled Steve.

“God’s creative love and prolific spiritual energy is turned into sperm for the purpose of reproduction. This prolific principle can also play a part in your own personal re-birth if you consciously work towards spiritual transformation. In other words, when you follow the Lord’s tenets and resist the temptations of egoism some of the spiritual seed which goes into creating sperm is redirected towards your remains,” said the angel in very blunt organic terms. “Furthermore, the energy that does go on to create human seed from this regenerative process is purged of heterogeneous substances and takes on a more noble character.”


“Is that why in some religious traditions certain monks will refrain from having sex, in order to re-direct this special essence towards a more positive spiritual result?” asked Steve as if experiencing a synapse.

“Today’s monks are working from incomplete knowledge. Abstaining from sex, without abstaining from deeper, or negative proclivities of the heart and mind often backfires, leading to various physical diseases,” explained the celestial creature.

“Why are you sharing this information with me?” asked Steve.

The Lord God is creating a new church on earth,” she replied. “In order to succeed, a number of men will have to produce a new kind of sperm – sperm with a new initiative!”

“What about women?” asked Steve.

“Woman can easily adapt to and receive this new sperm from men, that is, when women become spiritual wives and embrace a man’s evolved understanding and new wisdom. Women are designed by God to become intimate with their husband’s remains, whereby they are able to move into and cohabit their husband’s spiritual ‘house,’ ” stated the angel with complete sincerity.

Then, the angel disappeared. Steve quickly became aware of the elderly woman next to him as she was proudly displaying the newest photos of her grandchildren during fellowship hour.

Steve commented on how lucky she was to have such adorable grandchildren, but deeper within, he was concerned about his church’s spiritual oblivion toward the Lord’s efforts at raising the bar.

About thegodguy

EDWARD F. SYLVIA, M.T.S. Philosopher/Theologian Edward F. Sylvia attended the School of Visual Arts in New York and received his Master of Theological Studies at the Pacific School of Religion in Berkeley, CA and a Certificate of Swedenborgian Studies from the Swedenborgian House of Studies. He is a member of the Center for Theology and the Natural Sciences (C.T.N.S.) and the Swedenborg Scientific Association (S.S.A.). Award-winning author of "Sermon From the Compost Pile: Seven Steps Toward Creating An Inner Garden" and "Proving God," which fulfills a continuing vision that God’s fingerprints of love can be found everywhere in the manifest universe. His most recent book, "Swedenborg & Gurdjieff: The Missing Links" is an edgy collection of anti-intuitive essays for personal transformation that challenges and inspires. He has been a student of the ideas of both Emanuel Swedenborg and George I. Gurdjieff for over thirty years. Read more about TheGodGuy, his books and his ideas at
This entry was posted in god, Inner growth, psychology, Reality, religion, spirituality and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to Steve gets an angelic lesson about sperm

  1. Tabless Tom says:

    One of the wackiest things I’ve ever read – on a par with concern about “our precious bodily fluids.” I can only hope this is a joke.

  2. thegodguy says:

    Dear Tabless Tom,

    The only way to know if this is a joke or not is if you are familiar with both Swedenborg’s scientific and theological writings – which takes a lifetime of study!

    Spiritually yours,

  3. Cortland Bell says:

    Some of the replies(like the one above)amaze me in the way that they actually confirm the teachings of the Lord through Swedenborg. Furthermore it is almost comical, that those who post them have no idea that their replies indirectly confirm the spiritual truth in your statements…

    • thegodguy says:

      Dear Cortland,

      When it comes to religious ideas Swedenborg certainly challenges the status quo! Swedenborg intended to break through the human habitual mind.

      Spiritually yours,

  4. teresa2paradise says:

    Of course, “abstaining from deeper, or negative proclivities of the heart and mind” was in the teachings of the Messiah.
    Isn’t it odd that your first commenter did demonstrate that quite well? What websites do you recommend for people to learn about Swedenborg?

    • thegodguy says:

      I would recommend reading books by both Swedenborg and Gurdjieff, including my first two books “Sermon From The Compost Pile” and “Proving God.” I will have another book published in about a month that will challenge most peoples beliefs concerning the process of salvation!

      Spiritually yours,

  5. Wendell Jones says:


    Reading Swedenborg, I have always wondered: When angel husbands have sex with their angel wives, do they orgasm? Do they produce real, “substantial”, semen – or do they just produce ideas to deposit into their wives’ being? Everything I read in the Writings indicates that they do orgasm and produce substantial semen, and they make their angel wives orgasm too – the spiritual world is substantial, though not material. Otherwise, heavenly sex would just be wispy, ethereal “mindfuck”.


    • thegodguy says:

      Dear Wendell.

      Swedenborg observed that angels and spirits enjoy all the functions and capacities that they enjoyed with their earthly bodies. Even today’s researchers will readily admit that sex happens in the brain. We can take that concept deeper by saying that everything in the brain happens in the mind (which is our spiritual reality).

      To fully explore this topic one must become anatomically knowledgeable of both the male and female organs of generation – then apply a corresponding spiritual meaning to each of their functions. Remember, an idea is a real substance that is not constrained by the limitations of time and space. Material semen constitutes spiritual substance that is fixed and coated by physical matter.

      Spiritually yours,

  6. Fr. Edwin Gauthier says:

    As a Catholic priest, I am appalled at where this discussion is heading. My church teaches me that the only purpose of sex is reproduction. This is how it is in the animal kingdom, and this is how it would be for humans if humans were not depraved. Surely angels and the blessed departed do not need to reproduce. Why would they have sex? Your article is an indication of the depths to which heretics can sink when they abandon the tutelage of the Magisterium, Truly a sign of the times!

    • thegodguy says:

      Dear Fr. Gauthier,

      With all due respect, you did not pay careful attention to what I said. The reproduction I alluded to was our spiritual re-birth, which is not enjoyed by the rest of the animal kingdom. The male and female organs of generation in humans have their analog in spiritual bodies and heavenly functions. Nothing exists without form, and, eternal happiness cannot exist if some capacity is removed in the spiritual world. You have no understanding of the organic reality of angels. God is ultimate life and therefore heaven has an organic reality in order to respond to that divine life.

      As a former Catholic I learned nothing about the details of heaven from the tutelage of the Magisterium. Perhaps you can clarify something for me. Does your church doctrine teach that after death we move on to a spiritual realm or must we wait in our graves for the Lords “return” where we will receive perfect physical bodies?

      Spiritually yours,

  7. Roger P. Noah says:

    Dear Edward,

    Well said – I echo your statement, “I learned nothing about the details of heaven from the tutelage of the Magisterium”. Swedenborg satisfactorily resolved countless different theological issues for me in a way that the Roman Catholic Church could not. The Doctors of the Church may have been holy geniuses, but they do not hold a candle to Swedenborg in terms of the depth and breadth.. (This includes the three female Doctors of the Church – Saints Teresa of Ávila, Catherine of Siena, and Thérèse de Lisieux).,

    However, I am still a “Catholic” and not a “former Catholic”. Doctrinal details aside, the Catholic Church is wonderful platform and milieu for me to express and develop my spirituality. In Catholicism and in Orthodoxy, you have a much-needed dose of right-brained, anonymous, theocentric ritual – unlike the unadulterated, anthropocentric,individualistic, left-brained talkativeness of .Protestant services and Protestant witnessing. Well, Anglicans and Episcopalians provide beautiful worship ritual as well, but they are at odds with my socially conservative views on topics such as homosexuality and abortion.


    • thegodguy says:

      Dear Roger,

      Thank you for your support. Swedenborg did not wish to destroy any religion but placed his hope on various religious leaders to adopt his new theological revelations into their various spiritual paradigms. I suspect I have some Catholic “residue” within my spiritual profile. I believe this residue has helped me to approach Swedenborg with a fresh perspective – which is much more creative than the intellectual (left-brain) “protestant” approach.

      Spiritually yours,

  8. Roger P. Noah says:

    Also, I believe Catholicism and Orthodoxy (with their emphasis on faith plus works, their structured programs for spiritual development and their offering the office of spiritual directors), are closer to Swedenborg than the sola fide Bibliolatry of Protestantism. Let’s leave aside peripheral details such as the invocation of saints, transubstantiation, the veneration of images/icons, and weird doctrines such as papal infallibility – why pay attention to those, when there is such a wealth of spiritual resources in these milieus!


    • thegodguy says:

      Dear Roger,

      The biggest theological challenge today is convincing people that God’s Holy Word has an internal sense (deeper meaning). This issue is closely tied to the Lord’s words that people, including His own disciples, could not bear additional revelations about the end times. The Great Red Dragon of the Apocalypse represents those who come together in order to reject these new divine teachings. This is a difficult concept to swallow and is anti-intuitive to the modern human mind!

      Spiritually yours,

  9. Fr. Edwin Gauthier says:

    Yes, the Catholic Church teaches that, “after death we move on to a spiritual realm or must we wait in our graves for the Lords “return” where we will receive perfect physical bodies”. The perfect physical bodies we will receive at the resurrection will be like the Lord’s resurrected body and like Our Lady’s body which was assumed into heaven. Here’s Wikipedia’s theologically correct synopsis of the attributes of the resurrected body:

     immortality
     entirety, implying the restitution of the limbs, the distinction of the sexes and the perfection of the senses;
     the excellent physique and physical beauty
     incorruptibility, freedom from decay, or impassibility, freedom from pain, deriving from the perfect submission of the body to the soul
     clarity or glory: the bodies of saints will reflect the light, the inner splendor of the soul, therefore, in the body they will conform to the Incarnate Word;
     agility, so that the body of the saint, once free from the natural heaviness (imponderability), will be able to move rapidly from one place to another in the cosmos;

    Note that, though there’s a difference between the sexes and a sublimated sexuality, there is no marriage and sexual intercourse as such.

    Now it’s my turn to ask a question. Why are there only a handful of Swedenborgians after more than 200 years, if the new church is indeed the ‘crown of the churches’? Maybe it is the Gamaliel principle in operation (Acts 5:38-39):

    If their purpose or activity is human in its origins, it will destroy itself. If, on the other hand it comes from God, you will not be able to destroy them without fighting God himself.

    In other words, Swedenborg and the “New Church” are not from God.

    • thegodguy says:

      What is the point of having different sexes in heaven unless there can be a continuation of marriage love – and that the highest expression of God’s eternal plan is expressed by the differences each sex brings to angelic life. An individual is only half an angel.

      You still don’t understand what constitutes spiritual forms and angelic organs.

      The reason why there are so few Swedenborgians in the world is because few people can elevate their minds enough to verify that Holy Scripture contains deeper levels of meaning (if the Word is God, as stated in John 1:1-3, it must somehow contain infinite knowledge within a finite book – deeper levels allow for this!). Also remember that all created things were made from the Word, therefore Holy Scripture must contain the patterning principles of scientific law as well (this becomes more apparent when one has access to the deeper levels within Scripture). In terms of religion having a human origin or not, the Council of Nicea was full of political intrigue and the mere judgement of flawed men trying to make three Gods into one. The Dark Ages soon followed!

      Spiritually yours,

  10. Fr. Edwin Gauthier says:

    This is getting to be a joke. So the purpose of the alleged Second Coming in the late 18th century was to provide enlightenment to a handful of ivory tower intellectuals such as yourself, while the masses wallow in ignorance of the purported “internal meanings” of the Word?

    Christianity is a success. Swedenborgianism a failure – a boutique religion at best.

  11. thegodguy says:

    With all respect, Jesus taught the masses one way and taught the disciples in another. What did Jesus mean when He called His mother “woman”? What did Jesus mean when on the road to Emmaus He revealed to some disciples how the books of Moses and the Profits were all about Him? What did Jesus mean when He said that his return will not be observed nor would one be able to point in the direction of this earth-changing event? Sorry, my friend. The human mind has atrophied from its former spiritual abilities, so how can the masses be expected to respond to new revelations?

    The result of this atrophy is that humans look at spiritual things naturally, rather than raising natural things to their higher, spiritual equivalent.

    Swedenborg stated that all those who follow their religious conscience and heart can be saved and that the different societies in heaven represented the harmony of different faiths aligned with genuine spiritual love. But there are three levels of heaven. His doctrines give the human race a chance at achieving the highest level of angelic life through the exaltation of love.

    Swedenborg promoted a doctrine of love. What is so boutique about that?

    Spiritually yours,

    • mitch eddy says:

      Sex is crucial to healthy living. Sex can be perverted and misused. Surely, though, god wouldn’t make sex so beneficial to our bodies and at the same time useless to our souls? I know I brought this convo back a few pegs…… also, I might suggest that swedenborgianism has not progressed as rapidly as catholicism because it never has had periods of militant globalization implementing convert or be massacred incentives. Don’t mean to hurt anyones feelings here.

      • thegodguy says:

        Dear mitch,

        Thank you for contributing to this topic. God intends to hurt our feelings – what else would one conclude if you were to believe Swedenborg that humans are born into every evil! Our spiritual predicament is not very flattering!

        Spiritually yours,

  12. Elakhe says:

    Steve, i think its true. Its happening here already. I wonder if we can have a private chat.

    • thegodguy says:


      Are you looking for a private chat with me or with “Steve”? If it is with me (TheGodGuy) I can be reached by clicking on the link at the bottom of the blog article. It will take you to my website that shows how you can contact me. However, I am a busy author/publisher/homesteader and may not always be available.

      Spiritually yours,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s