A member of the church, Steve, found a chair and sat at a table with his paper plate of food. Everyone was happily engaged in conversation. Steve half consciously observed that none of the conversation was particularly spiritual. Rather, people discussed their worldly concerns and personal updates.
An elderly woman sitting next to Steve was determined to show him the newest pictures of her grandchildren.
As Steve tried to be cordial and considerate to the woman he felt a tap on his shoulder from his other side. Thinking that it was another member of his church he turned to smile but was surprised to see a glowing angelic being sitting in the chair next to him!
“Don’t worry,” said the beautiful angel. “You are the only one who can see me.”
“Why have you chosen to sit next to me?” asked the alarmed Steve.
“I have been sent here by the Lord God to offer you additional and special information about your minister’s sermon today on the topic of ‘remains.’”
“I have always felt that the important topic of one’s remains was rarely or deeply discussed,” replied Steve, as if he knew that the angel was reading his mind.
“As your church teaches, God plants sacred positive feelings and thoughts early in a child’s mind so that heavenly influences can have a place to be stored up for future spiritual growth. Without this divine gift people would lose their ability to think rationally or act humanely,” said the glowing angel with a stern look on her face. “Your remains act as a matrix for your spiritual re-birth. But before that, your remains are merely an ovum without sperm.”
Steve’s face turned a shade of red when he heard the angel speak this way. “I don’t understand what you are saying?” said the startled Steve.
“God’s creative love and prolific spiritual energy is turned into sperm for the purpose of reproduction. This prolific principle can also play a part in your own personal re-birth if you consciously work towards spiritual transformation. In other words, when you follow the Lord’s tenets and resist the temptations of egoism some of the spiritual seed which goes into creating sperm is redirected towards your remains,” said the angel in very blunt organic terms. “Furthermore, the energy that does go on to create human seed from this regenerative process is purged of heterogeneous substances and takes on a more noble character.”
“Is that why in some religious traditions certain monks will refrain from having sex, in order to re-direct this special essence towards a more positive spiritual result?” asked Steve as if experiencing a synapse.
“Today’s monks are working from incomplete knowledge. Abstaining from sex, without abstaining from deeper, or negative proclivities of the heart and mind often backfires, leading to various physical diseases,” explained the celestial creature.
“Why are you sharing this information with me?” asked Steve.
The Lord God is creating a new church on earth,” she replied. “In order to succeed, a number of men will have to produce a new kind of sperm – sperm with a new initiative!”
“What about women?” asked Steve.
“Woman can easily adapt to and receive this new sperm from men, that is, when women become spiritual wives and embrace a man’s evolved understanding and new wisdom. Women are designed by God to become intimate with their husband’s remains, whereby they are able to move into and cohabit their husband’s spiritual ‘house,’ ” stated the angel with complete sincerity.
Then, the angel disappeared. Steve quickly became aware of the elderly woman next to him as she was proudly displaying the newest photos of her grandchildren during fellowship hour.
Steve commented on how lucky she was to have such adorable grandchildren, but deeper within, he was concerned about his church’s spiritual oblivion toward the Lord’s efforts at raising the bar.