Marriage is being massacred!
Despite this lousy track record, the increase of online dating services prove that people still want the intimacy that marriage promises but there seems to be great difficulty in finding the “perfect” match. Because of this difficulty I have even heard that someone proposed that marriages of the future might become based on temporary contracts. That is, people would agree to be married for a certain length of time and when their contracts ran out they could decide whether to enter into a new (temporary) contract or call it quits.
What is boggling to the western psyche is that pre-arranged marriages of other cultures are more successful than those where people spend time evaluating and discerning future partners!
How can that be? Such a notion seems anti-intuitive.
I personally believe that an important element is missing when two people in western society approach marriage. Marriage is not just a contract between two people—it is a contract with God. God has designed marriages not only to bring two people together in this world, but also to last into the next—eternal—world.
Therefore, marriage has to become a vehicle for spiritual transformation. However, most people want partners who are harmonious with the way they presently are, rather than to what they can potentially become—angels of heaven!
Nobody wants to change, so people look for partners who won’t demand change.
I suspect that many pre-arranged marriages are successful because the partners embrace this spiritual challenge. Two partners can only increase their intimacy as they challenge each other to become more spiritual. Seeking superficial compatibility can be detrimental and put the kabosh on married partners’ need to seek and rid themselves of their character flaws. True married partners are experts on each other’s “dirty laundry” and have to be willing to help each other take on the deeper difficulty of inner purification. (What is more intimate than that?)
Through love, successful marital partners must become committed into reaching heaven, together.
Happy Valentine’s Day!