Valentine’s Day “Massacre”

Most of us send cards and gifts to special loved ones for Valentine’s Day. In spite of this, marriage—which is the highest expression of true and intimate love—doesn’t work out for many people.

Marriage is being massacred!

Despite this lousy track record, the increase of online dating services prove that people still want the intimacy that marriage promises but there seems to be great difficulty in finding the “perfect” match. Because of this difficulty I have even heard that someone proposed that marriages of the future might become based on temporary contracts. That is, people would agree to be married for a certain length of time and when their contracts ran out they could decide whether to enter into a new (temporary) contract or call it quits.

What is boggling to the western psyche is that pre-arranged marriages of other cultures are more successful than those where people spend time evaluating and discerning future partners!

How can that be? Such a notion seems anti-intuitive.

I personally believe that an important element is missing when two people in western society approach marriage. Marriage is not just a contract between two people—it is a contract with God. God has designed marriages not only to bring two people together in this world, but also to last into the next—eternal—world.

Therefore, marriage has to become a vehicle for spiritual transformation. However, most people want partners who are harmonious with the way they presently are, rather than to what they can potentially become—angels of heaven!

Nobody wants to change, so people look for partners who won’t demand change.

I suspect that many pre-arranged marriages are successful because the partners embrace this spiritual challenge. Two partners can only increase their intimacy as they challenge each other to become more spiritual. Seeking superficial compatibility can be detrimental and put the kabosh on married partners’ need to seek and rid themselves of their character flaws. True married partners are experts on each other’s “dirty laundry” and have to be willing to help each other take on the deeper difficulty of inner purification. (What is more intimate than that?)

Through love, successful marital partners must become committed into reaching heaven, together.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

About thegodguy

EDWARD F. SYLVIA, M.T.S. Philosopher/Theologian Edward F. Sylvia attended the School of Visual Arts in New York and received his Master of Theological Studies at the Pacific School of Religion in Berkeley, CA and a Certificate of Swedenborgian Studies from the Swedenborgian House of Studies. He is a member of the Center for Theology and the Natural Sciences (C.T.N.S.) and the Swedenborg Scientific Association (S.S.A.). Award-winning author of "Sermon From the Compost Pile: Seven Steps Toward Creating An Inner Garden" and "Proving God," which fulfills a continuing vision that God’s fingerprints of love can be found everywhere in the manifest universe. His most recent book, "Swedenborg & Gurdjieff: The Missing Links" is an edgy collection of anti-intuitive essays for personal transformation that challenges and inspires. He has been a student of the ideas of both Emanuel Swedenborg and George I. Gurdjieff for over thirty years. Read more about TheGodGuy, his books and his ideas at
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7 Responses to Valentine’s Day “Massacre”

  1. oddlyirish says:

    How strange. Most of us of the male persuasion find our spouse’s attempts to “perfect” us annoying, to say the least. Fortunately, after a few years, most ladies realize this type of project is futile.

  2. Mrs. GodGuy says:

    A woman who loves a man enough to stay with him through thick and thin does so because she has eventually realized that no one can “change” another human being. That person needs to want to “perfect” himself (or herself) before any true transformation can take place. But that doesn’t mean women don’t have to “perfect” themselves, too. Actually, we ALL have to “work on ourselves,” even the females.

    One of the coolest contemporary examples I remember hearing along these lines is when Jack Nicholson’s character in the film “As Good As It Gets” tells his love interest, Helen Hunt, “You make me want to be a better man.” That is TRULY as good as it gets! This “perfecting” and “letting go” is a two-way street. And when you do work at it, marriage can be a beautiful and eternal thing!

    GodGuy, I wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day with all my love!
    Mrs. GodGuy

  3. Domenic says:

    happy valentine’s day, without the rich heart, wealth is an ugly begger.

  4. Single Vesseled Astronaut says:

    Thank you for sharing. Truly insightful. Do you have a way to contact you via email or directly to ask more questions on this topic?

    • thegodguy says:

      Dear SVA,

      You can try. If you go to my website ( you will find an email address. I am a busy author and publisher so It may take awhile before I get back to you.

      Spiritually yours,

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