I feel fortunate that I am associated with such special individuals. The meeting gives me a warm and cozy feeling of togetherness, belonging and self-affirmation.
Then something new and unexpected happens. While still contributing to the discussion I get a rare awareness and glimpse of myself. I become fully aware of my body, feelings and thoughts as I am sitting in my chair.
I feel as though I have removed some cobwebs from my existence.
My hands are resting on my knees. I turn my left palm upwards on my left knee. No one notices. But in this small unnatural gesture I have increased my level of consciousness and gained a new degree of freedom.
I begin to wonder about what the heck I was doing before having this heightened state of mind. I was simply doing what everyone else was doing in the room—reacting to external stimuli, making associations and responding from material stored in my memory. In other words, I was missing in action and operating on automatic pilot.
Then I make a further shocking and unflattering synaptic discovery—that even people with highly developed intellects and good intentions can be operating from a trance-like state of mind. I found myself in a room of absent people.
And, for a brief moment, I clearly understood what Emanuel Swedenborg meant by all the Bible warnings that we were to awaken.
Now I have been put in a very uncomfortable position!