No one brags about their hemorrhoids. The only thing that brings humility to an individual is to have a personally embarrassing defect that is plainly visible and causes real discomfort. Hemorrhoids fulfill this condition of personal mortification.
One cannot easily dismiss hemorrhoids. It has a surefire and visceral way of reminding you of its presence.
Religion should have the same affect upon a person’s soul. Rather than shining light on the slow-moving blood of the veins in a person’s rear end, religion should allow one to become aware of impure thoughts and feelings that clog up a person’s spiritual qualities and course through the human soul.
But one’s flawed character can be more easily dismissed than hemorrhoids. We have learned to overlook the discomfort of our conscience much easier than that of our physical behind.
Salvation (and true religion) requires a special kind of humility that reaches all the way to the soul—where it can become sensed on a higher level.
Heaven cannot be reached without humility.
There is no such thing as an angel that does not possess true inner humility. But the kind of humility produced by hemorrhoids falls short of the requirements for salvation. We don’t consciously choose hemorrhoids but we do have to intentionally choose a kind of deep self-inspection and introspection that allows us to notice and become mortified by our own particular character flaws—which keep us from obtaining our spiritual health.
But as of now, more people are finding greater humility from their hemorrhoids than from any impure or defective conditions of their hearts and minds.